Matt Pless - The 90’s Song ( I’m Just A 90’s Kid)

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I’m still listening to korn
I’m stuck back in the 90s
and I wish I wasn’t born
I’d whizz the juice with Pauly shore
Bought magic cards off e bay
They cost a whole lot more
Than back in 1994
I wish I had a Time Machine
So I could go on tour
With nine inch nails and faith no more
I’m riding to hot topic on a tony hawk skateboard
I’m feeling like a dinosaur
A fossilized chain wallet
Hanging half way to the floor
And I’m still listening to korn

I still dig System of a Down
I raged against machines in jnco jeans
We had no doubt
When punk rock still was underground
And tickets to a concert
Didn’t cost more than my house
I miss wu tang and body count
Now rappers mumble gibberish
Lyrics I can’t figure out
When blockbuster was still around
and kids were smoking cigarettes
Instead of vaping clouds
I still dig System of a Down

I’ d party on with Wayne and Garth
Sing bohemian rhapsody
And rock out in my car
Clarissa could explain it all
And if she closed her window
I’d go hang with Daria
Before we watched the towers fall
The number 911 meant
emergency phone calls
I’m drunk off shots of aftershock
And driving Oj Simpsons Bronco
running from the cops
I’d party on with Wayne and Garth

Back when Bill Clinton was the shit
If only Monica Lewinski
Could have sucked my dick
Then maybe I’d be president
When tonya Harding took a club
To Nancy karrigan
Then Maybe we could all be friends
I’d murder Jon benat
And I’d deny it till the end
If Kurt cobain wasn’t dead
I’d shoot up all his dope
And out a bullet through my head
I’d watch shows on tgif
I’d break stuff with limp biscuit
And red hats belonged to Fred
Back when bill Clinton was the shit

I’m drinkin water from a hose
I’m clueless in the matrix watching 90210
I’d ride Winona rider home
We’ll eat some magic mushrooms
Playing super mario
I’m counting years instead of crows
Well I guess this is growing up
Or is it getting old?
Well so much for the Afterglow
I’m slamming pogs and talking
On transparent telephones
It’s closing time, where did it go?
I’ll practice sanitaria cause
I really wanna know
I’m drinking water from a hose

So tell me where it all went wrong
Cause once upon a food court
We would hang out at the mall
Where everybody got along
When politics were boring
And nobody cared at all
But now we’re hooked on adderal
Pornography and monster drinks
And pharmaceuticals
So test your drugs for fentanyl
I can’t recall the cheat codes
To beat sonic the hedgehog
So tell me where it all went wrong

You wish you were a 90’s kid
But honestly back then
We all said words that now offend
We dialed up the internet
A nude couldn’t be sent
From a sex worker in Madrid
There was no instant messaging
Or glossy beauty filters
That would cover up your zits
No one had heard of Taylor swift
You couldn’t walk into a store
and purchase cannabis
I bet you would have hated it
Cause green day hadn’t written
American idiot
I guess I’m just a 90’s kid

By Matt Pless